Comedy jokes

Who wants to laugh about life with me?

Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

Au revoir, GGG

What comes after 69?

Period.

Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.

Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨

I don't think jokes are very funny.

What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.

You don't have dreams, you have movies.

One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.

"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"

Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."

"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."

"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."

"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."

"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.

"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."

"Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!"

"Great job Sally! What did she say?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"

Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.

Some dude called me a tool.

So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.

Guess he was right :/

What’s worse than running with scissors?

Scissoring with the runs!