Comedy jokes
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
Do you know Candice?
"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.
A B 💿.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
You're really...