Comedy jokes

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.

You don't have dreams, you have movies.

Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.

Not coming soon!

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.

Let's go, Brendan Fraser!

Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.

What do my balls and emos have in common?

...Nothing, they both hang themselves...

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"

Why can't orphans go to movies?

There PG-13 movies.

Man: Knock, knock...

Boy: Who's there?

Man: Bear...

Boy: Bear who?

Man: Bear bottom.

What do you call a funny drink?

Punch!

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.

I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.

—Shane Richie, British actor