Comedy jokes
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
Goofy ahh jokes below.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.