Comedy jokes

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Who tells the best chicken jokes?

Comedi-hens!

Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.

My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

A cow with no front legs walking around?

Beef stroganoff.

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Do you know Candice?

"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.

I don't know, my friend did it.

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

Why can't orphans go to movies?

There PG-13 movies.

Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.

Not coming soon!

You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.

You don't have dreams, you have movies.