Comedy jokes
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
...
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."