Comedy jokes
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! π¬π€―π²π³π±ππ
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.
So (DYM 132).
Hey Hunter, Thomas here.
Why did the plane cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!
Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-
My buddies think I'm on the lake.
Boss thinks I've been sick for days.
And mama's probably on her way
'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.
I've been a million places,
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Took a trip down memory lane.
Checked into hotel heartbreak.
Passed rock bottom on the way
Without leaving my living room.
I've been a million places
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Yeah
I've been gone.
All the clothes are on the floor
All the mail's by the door
All the whiskey bottles in my bed.
All the dishes in the sink
All the gas is in the tank
All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
Gone
What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?
Durrrrrrrr.
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
All these jokes make me laugh to death π.
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Line (DYM 105)