Clothing jokes

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

Why don’t mountains catch colds?

They wear snow caps.

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.

They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.

Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?

Because they always come out clean.

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.

My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.

Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."

Sister: "Has anyone seen my clothes?"

Brother: "They're still in my bed."

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

No ballroom.

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?