Clothing jokes

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

My buddies think I'm on the lake.

Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

And mama's probably on her way

'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

I've been a million places,

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Took a trip down memory lane.

Checked into hotel heartbreak.

Passed rock bottom on the way

Without leaving my living room.

I've been a million places

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Yeah

I've been gone.

All the clothes are on the floor

All the mail's by the door

All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

All the dishes in the sink

All the gas is in the tank

All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

Gone

You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.

What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?

A Christian.

If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?

Because they are hiding stitches.

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.

Jeans! (DYM 98)

Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.

A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.

“No, it’s curry this time.”

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.

Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.

Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.

What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.

You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.

Why do orphans like belts?

They remind them of their father.