Clothing jokes
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I just shed my pants.
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
What do sped gymnasts wear?
A Reotard.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.