Clothing jokes
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.