Clothing jokes
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What do bananas wear into battle? Banana-rama!
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
Why did the sperm cross the road? ββββ because I put on the wrong sock today.
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Whatβs worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Call me a worn-out sweater because Iβm hanging on by a thread.
Thatβs about to become a rope around my neck.