Clothing Jokes

My wife accused me of being a cross dresser so i packed up her clothes and left

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth, it's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet

do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes and multiples with the whole classroom.

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper

If all your clothes where stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.

A little girl beinng Girl: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"

Priest: "What did you do Child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it and she replied, "Its a bad habit"

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!

A man went to buy 5 undie so he said hi 5 undis plz 1 4 each weekday.and then another man comes and said hi 7 undies please 1 for each day and theyll finish cleaning by sunday so the cashier said now thats more like it and then another person said hi 12 undies please wait imma double check january fe

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, "You can have anything you want.""

The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on, I said : Are you an orphan?. He said : Yeah what gave me away? I said : Your parents buddy

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don't hang themselves.

How is wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.

Where do rape victims buy there clothes from?

The kids section

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk and he was in baggy clothes and I said are you a orphan he said yeah and the orphan said what gave me away I said ur parents

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer."