Clothing jokes
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
What do sped gymnasts wear?
A Reotard.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.