Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?
Because it was rated ARRRR.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.