Church jokes
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.
BUT!!!!!!
I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.
As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.
I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
What do you call a gay priest? Hahahahahaha!
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.
So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.