Church jokes
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
What do you call a gay priest? Hahahahahaha!
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.
So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.