Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

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Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.

Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.

Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."

Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."

Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"

Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.

Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.

Horses ride him.

Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.

Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!

Chuck Norris is the opposite to Oliver Savage.

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.