Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.

MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”

In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.

Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.