Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris jokes

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Jupiter

  • Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

    And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

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  • Dick

  • Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

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    Wood

  • How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

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    Man

  • Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

    Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

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  • Haircut

  • Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

    Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

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    Number

  • When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

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    Plane

  • Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

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