Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris jokes

Wood

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

Man

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Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

Haircut

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Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

Contact

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Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

Number

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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Plane

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Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

Vaccine

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Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.

MVP

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MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”

In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.