Chuck Norris jokes

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.

Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.

Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.