Superhuman jokes

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.