Christmas Jokes

Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out

Tomorrow is Christmas and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden. The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping of a roof

Note to self.

When baking for the holidays don't Google creampies.

Google cream pie recipes.

What do you call an elf that sings: A Wrapper

Roses are red He shows no remorse

Santa claus Has joined the terrorist force

how do you get more presents from santa? you tickle his sack

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved...and shot her.

Every wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

The made the toys

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. -- I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

what did the woman with no hands get for christmas? no idea. she hasn’t opened her present yet.

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote " don't be dumb make sure they're numb and always use a condom!"

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas? A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging

Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box