Christmas jokes

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)

Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.

What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?

"Time to hit the sack!"

Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂

Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"