Christmas

Christmas jokes

Santa

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

Parent

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Internet

Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.

Animal

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

Father

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

Santa

What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?

"Time to hit the sack!"

Rape

What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?

He raped her.

  • 2
  • Pedophile

    What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

    He said he was awfully touched!

    Dinner

    I’m going to be busy having dinner soon. I have internet for Christmas šŸŽ„ and I have some Christmas.

    Coal

    To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.

    Boy

    "Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."

  • 0
  • Movie

    Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

    And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

    Charade

    Family are together playing charades.

    Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!

    Yo mama

    Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.

  • 0