Christmas jokes
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
No one:
Taeil: "Happy Christmas~"
Haechan: "It's Merry Christmas."
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
I’m going to be busy having dinner soon. I have internet for Christmas 🎄 and I have some Christmas.
"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.