Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? A: Because their Santa's STARBUCKS!
Why do orphans love christmas
Cause they build a home
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas. -herpes
Well tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
what did the woman with no hands get for christmas? no idea. she hasn’t opened her present yet.
Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights
they are both going to be hanging from a tree
Why can’t jesus be born in West Virginia
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
What do michael jackson and santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids room with empty sacks.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays don't Google creampies.
Google cream pie recipes.
Tomorrow is Christmas and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden. The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping of a roof
