Christmas jokes
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What does a terrorist get for Christmas?
A C4.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
No one:
Taeil: "Happy Christmas~"
Haechan: "It's Merry Christmas."