What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasnβt happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids π
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
Why donβt Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Whatβs the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they donβt have parents.
On Christmas Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap. Joking I know they work hard, they run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
Why do orphans watch nightmare before Christmas
Answer: oogie boogie is ugly so they wanted for be ugly
What happens if you play with Santaβs ball you get a white Christmas
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree? Time to get a new Christmas tree π
What did the orphan get for Christmas nothing they haven't got family
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
