Christmas jokes
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Why does the emo hate Christmas?
The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
Memes
*Sniffs kids*
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.
Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"
"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"
"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."
Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."
Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"
Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."
Man: "Okay. Let's do it."
So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.
After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"
Man: "I am 35 years old."
Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"