What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death you may end up regretting it, you can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if i’m wrong.
Q: what's the difference between a fetus and an onion? A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces
People are like trees... They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe
a lumberjack goes to a person ́s house then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
What’s an emo kids favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
i was in cooking class and my teacher said - does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?
me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
long story short the teacher understood the joke and now we are both in daily therapy 😭💀
Why did the clown stop smiling? Someone chopped his lips off.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite. They just need to leaf people a lone or stick with something nicer
Whats the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion
What do polish people in 🇵🇱 Poland use chop sticks for? tweezers
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
Well he’s all right now!
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
I cried when my dad was chopping Onions. Onions was a good dog.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion U don't cry when you chop a whore
A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions
Onions was such a good dog
