Chop Jokes

What happened after technoblade died?

Everyone got raw pork chop.

i heard guns kill people, so i gave up my right to own one.

Then i heard dicks rape people, so i chopped it off.

Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I'm a fireman" The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!" The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with a arm missing and I thought cool display until I heard him screaming and getting the other chopped off then I said “ man now that’s a 10/10 display wow

If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me....

what do you call a pig that knows karate...

Pork-chop!

How do you make a body disappear? You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in ground and putting dirt over them is alot of hard work!

Psa im joking and dont condone these actions.

What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?

The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.

-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer

I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz

What do you call one baby in 10 trashcans

Chopped Junior!

Are guys scared of the word Choppiness Because it is literally saying (chop-penis)

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw, The retarded kid yells see,saw because he sees a saw

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white women he chopped her up and put her in the woods the suck fuck.

Q:What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A:one doesn’t scream when u try to chop it up.

My brother got his legs chopped of but someone FBI opened my basement door but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basment

Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

Men: get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich! Women: go chop some lumber! White people: get back into the cotton fields!

why was the indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches. Because then it would be a foot. lol i may have peed myself

whats the difference between dark humor and normal humor normal humor is ten babies and one trash can dark humor is one baby and ten trash can scroll down for explanation

ten babies in one trash can one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up