Children jokes
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
We should stop the orphan jokes. The parents will get mad.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
What's orphans' favorite game? Housekeeping.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because then they can play catch.
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.