Children jokes
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Movies now
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
Why can't orphans go on a field trip?
They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
What's orphans' favorite game? Housekeeping.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
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