Children jokes

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

What flour do orphans use?

Self-raising flour.

What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?

Children scream when they melt.

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.

Why does an orphanage have milk?

Because Dad never came back with the milk.

There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.

The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

Orphans go to church to call someone father.

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.

Because I hate dealing with parents.

Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They never hit home.

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?

Home.