Children jokes
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
Me: "I like kids."
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"