Children jokes
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.
For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.