Children jokes

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.

Q. What type of flour do orphans get?

A. Self-raising flour.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

Me: "I like kids."

You know those paper families you cut out?

Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.

What do you call an orphan with a boner?

Porn.

What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

Why is it ok to smack an orphan?

What are they going to do? Tell their parents!

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.

Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?

Because she loves raisin kids.

Q: Why can orphans swim?

A: They have or-fins.

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.