Children jokes
When the school lets you near children again...
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
Cocomelon.
Memes
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"
Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."
The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"
Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."
The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"
Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.