Children jokes
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.