Children jokes
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.
I love working at an orphanage.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?