Children jokes
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
Why do orphans cry so much?
They can’t find a place to go.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.
I love working at an orphanage.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.