What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
Children Jokes
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make it clap until its parents come home.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
