Children jokes
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
I blend children to make a good living.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
Orphan jokes? They protest.
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.
Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never hit a homerun.
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.