Children jokes
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?
They missed the homecoming games.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
Why can’t Chinese orphans play baseball?
They cannot run home.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.