Children jokes
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.