Children jokes
Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Both can't see their parents.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."