Childhood

Childhood jokes

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Baby

  • What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.

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    Fish

  • Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.

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  • Little Johnny

  • Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

    Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

    Mom: Well, it’s my house.

    Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

    Mom: Go to school!

    At school:

    Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

    Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

    Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!

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    Sister

  • Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

    Sister: No, I won't stop.

    Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

    Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

    Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

    Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

    Orphan

  • Stop with dumb orphan jokes, you dumb ass people!!!!!!!!!!

    They're not funny one bit, so stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Grade

  • When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

    Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

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    Height

  • You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.