This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
Childhood Jokes
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
He doesn’t know where home is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
It’s because they can’t find home plate.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
Stop with dumb orphan jokes, you dumb ass people!!!!!!!!!!
They're not funny one bit, so stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, lol.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they have to run back to home base.
Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: They don’t have a home to run back to.
Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
