Childhood jokes
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
Why can orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home plate.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it to home plate.
Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
What was the orphan's favorite cartoon show?
"Fairly OddParents."
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home plate.
Why do orphans not get family size [items]?
Because they don’t have a family to share with.
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
It's often said that people peaked in high school.
I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.