Childhood jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home >:D
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it always comes back.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "Sad"
Teacher: "Anyway, is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"