Child jokes
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.