Child jokes

Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.

Son: Why, Dad?

Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

Come, my children, to the bread cult!

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They never reach home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home, LOL.

What movie does an orphan hate?

- No Way Home.

What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.

Son: Why?

Father: You’ll need them there.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.