Child jokes
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.