Child jokes
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
The best snack
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.