Child jokes
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Why can't orphans play cricket?
Because they can't find home.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."