Child jokes
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?
"My bum hurts."
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."