Child jokes
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?
"My bum hurts."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of dead babies.