Child jokes
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Hollow Knight Meme
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have nowhere to run home.
I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run. 😭
What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?
Homecoming.
I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.