Child jokes
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
Memes
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker đź–• that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.