Child jokes
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me!
"Stupid ass baby."