Child jokes
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Memes
me when my mom wakes me up!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker đź–• that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Heh, stupid orphan.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Ur adopted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play cricket?
Because they can't find home.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......