Child jokes

Ur adopted.

Why can't orphans play rounders?

Because they don't know where home is.

Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?

Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"

What's the same about boxes and children?

They're both found in basements.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple actually gets picked.

What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.

Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.

My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.

I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.

(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)

What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?

Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.

The dad finally came back with the milk!

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

What do priests give children?

Syphilis.

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

There are 206 bones in the human body.

207 when I'm at a nursery.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?