What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is...
What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?
Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
Why can't orphans play rounders?
Because they don't know where home is.
Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What does a website have that an orphan doesn't? A home.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
Why can't orphans play cricket?
Because they can't find home.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
