Child jokes
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is...
Memes
"Stupid ass baby."
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Ur adopted.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.