Child jokes
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they ate the bat!
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.