Child jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.