Child jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
Because they can't call their parents.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.