When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
