Child jokes
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
Because they can't call their parents.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"