Child jokes

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home run.

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

I raped a disabled child.

I think she's too far gone to repair now.

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

By the way, infertility is hereditary:

If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?

Because they weren't even wanted.

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children.

What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?

Hitting it off with a cricket bat.

What's a child abuser's favorite song?

"Just Beat It!"