Child jokes

They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.

Which sex position produces the ugliest children?

Go ask your mother.

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, "I'm scared."

The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."

Why was Mozart a child prodigy?

All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.