Child jokes
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer: Fisse.
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer Pussy.
Alle Kinder hiessen Melissa, ausser Kurt, han hed det "grime Kurt bombomn".
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."