Child

Child jokes

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

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  • A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.

    The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.

    After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."

    What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

    What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

    An apple actually gets picked.

    One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

    Mom: "No you can't..."

    Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

    lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

    Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.

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  • What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

    A baby with burst armbands.

    Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?

    Because they have no one to tell them off.

    How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.