Child jokes

What’s blue and comes in brownies?

Cub Scouts.

To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?

(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)

Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

da baby

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

What's an orphan's favorite movie? "Going Home."

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

What do you call a reverse exorcism?

It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.

What if little Johnny was doing drugs?

"Johnny, Johnny?"

"Yes, Papa?"

"Eating sugar?"

"No, Papa..."

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.