Child jokes
My sis was funny but sad because I have a boy and she doesn't.
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
I saw this little girl crying. I asked her where her parents were. She cried more, man, I love working at an orphanage.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can't find home!
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't go home.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
Madeline Mcannot find her.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.