Child jokes

When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.

Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!

Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.

Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!

What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.

Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.

Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.

Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.

Oh God By Dixie Rect.

Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.

Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.

Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.

How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.

Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.

The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.

What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.

Why was the kid sad?

He was adopted.

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

What's the difference between a child and a book?

One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?

Dad:

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.

What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"