Chicken jokes

The chicken is so fat.

What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.

[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?

What do you call a broken chicken?

A broken chicken.

Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.

Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.

Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.

Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.

Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.

Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?

Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?

A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...

A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.

"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"

Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"

"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"

Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"

"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"

Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to the bitch house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

What is an egg joke?

Egg-xcellent question!

Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?

Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.