Chicken jokes
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
My cock, lmao.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It doesn't matter, he's dead.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What's black and long?
- The line at KFC.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt!
Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!
When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!
Later!
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"