Animal rights jokes

What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?

You can't beat a cheetah!

How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.

If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.

What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?

Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

One man's pet is another man's dinner.

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.