Change jokes
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.
You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
I was just fine being bisexual... Now I’m gender fluid... great...
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.
What goes up but never comes down?
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!