Change jokes
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
What did the other traffic cone say to the other?
"Look away, I'm changing!"
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
Why do Jews suck at mugging?
Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.
How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
I used to think all Americans were racist.
Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.
If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.
-THE END-
This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!