Change jokes

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?

He saw the climate change.

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

Quote of the day:

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.

Chao!!!

My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?

They both only change their pads after every third period!

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.

What the fluff happened to this website?

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.