Change jokes

Quote of the day:

Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]

How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?

All 3 of them.

Hockey for life!

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

I know I've changed my name from tj to selfish king but know it's gunna be selfishking#781.

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.

Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?

He saw the climate change.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Tyler is ugly.

If you are called Tyler, change your name.

How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, she was electrocuted.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"

Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"

Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."

Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"

Husband: "Gold, of course!"

Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian.

Quote of the day:

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.

Chao!!!

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?

They both only change their pads after every third period!

What the fluff happened to this website?