Change jokes
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
I know I've changed my name from tj to selfish king but know it's gunna be selfishking#781.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.